Explaining Santa Claus

Today my Mom sent a box of stuff for the kids for school and in it were a pair of tights. Abegail was going through the box and loving her new stuff and I went out to mow the lawn. Abegail came out in the tights and a shirt. I said, "oh, honey those aren't pants those are to wear under a dress." OK, she kind of got it. Then she opened the drawer of an old chest I had in the kitchen and pulled out a tablecloth. She said, Mommy what is this, a blanket??
I said no, it's a tablecloth. Do you know what that is? She said no. So I started wondering what else has he never seen before?

Mommy: Abegail, Do you know what a Christmas tree is?
Abegail: No.
Mommy: Do you know what a Christmas stocking is?
Abegail: No.
Mommy: Do you know what an Easter basket is?
Abegail: No.
Mommy: Do you know who the Easter bunny is?
Abegail: The Easter bunny??? No.
Mommy: Do you know what Easter is?
Abegail: Yes, that's when Jesus died.
Mommy: Do you know what Christmas is?
Abegail: of course, that's Jesus' birthday.
Mommy: Do you now who Santa Claus is?(they do have a picture of Santa at the AFAA house)
Abegail: No. Who is Santa Claus?
Mommy: Well he wears a red suit and has a beard.
Abegail: A red suit and a beard?
Mommy: Yes, and he comes down the chimney.
Abegail with a look on her face like I've lost my mind: The Chimney? Why would he come down the chimney?
Mommy: Well he comes at night and leaves presents and then leaves. We don't see him.
Abegail: We don't see him???
Mommy: At this point I"m thinking I thought Santa gave presents all over the world to all the good boys and girls, how am I going to explain that one? No he comes leaves presents and then leaves, he has a bowl full of jelly.
Abegail: He eats jelly?
Mommy: No, he has a big tummy.
Abegail: What kind of presents does he leave?
Mommy: Well, you go sit on his lap and tell him what you want.
Abegail: But I don't see him?
Mommy: Oh, you can see him at the mall.
Abegail: The mall?
Mommy: Yea, he's around before Christmas, just not when he delivers the presents.
Abegail: So I have to sit on his lap and he brings me a present?
Mommy: Yes, what do you want him to bring you?
Abegail: I want a pink car and a barbie.
Mommy: Oh, that's a good idea.
Abegail: Will he remember?
Mommy: If you sit on his lap and tell him. He will remember.

Moments later Abegail finds me, Mommy I want one more thing: Wait, no I want four things. I want............. I want.......
Oh, now if we only remember how to wear the tights that easily!

Quotes from Abegail:
I was talking to Abegail about the benefit we are going to tomorrow for the Liberian boy coming to Minnesota for surgery. I said, there will be lots of people from Liberia there. Won't that be fun?
Abegail: No.
Mommy: No??? Why not, don't you want to meet people from Liberia?
Abegail: No, I already know people in Liberia.

E-man's Giardia is definitely getting better. Today was the first day he's gone to the bathroom and I didn't feel like I needed to move out of the house afterward. Now for Abegail.....